The Trouble With Loglines

One of the tricky parts about writing that still gives me trouble is creating a succinct summary. I have the tendency to want to tell more than I should. So I'm opening my logline up for some critiques. Input from readers and other writers is the best way to hone those summarizing skills. So let me know what you think.



DREAMWALKING UNDER THE BLOODMOON SKY
YA Fantasy

With veins barren of her family’s magic and a looming marriage to a man she doesn’t love, sixteen year-old Rose bargains and blackmails her way to freedom. But running makes her problems worse. After a night hiding in a crumbling castle, Rose wakes to a world where the living sleep like the dead, and the dead walk like the living. Rose must put aside her fears and prejudices to save her sleeping kingdom.